wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
two words...techno handjob
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So much rum. So many feels.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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