I just made out with a guy for $7.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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