We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
