Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
