If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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