Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
