sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
