.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
