are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
