i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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