We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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