im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
