dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
