I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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