I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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