dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
