Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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