oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
