Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
