Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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