3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
