I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
