...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
