your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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