yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
