ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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