My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
