I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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