I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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