I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
