Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
