at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
