i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
