Your tits are I can't wait for
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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