As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
