im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize