We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
