I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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