I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
