How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
