The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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