I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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