He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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