I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
