i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
