oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
