friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
