paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Houston, we have a blender
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
