the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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