You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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