If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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